That Drifting Excrement Was Far Too Meaningful! It's the Television Disappointments of the Year.

As we consider the television offerings of the recent year, a selection of series emerge not for their excellence, but for their notable shortcomings. Ranging from cringe-inducing spin-offs to bafflingly poor docuseries, here are the productions that left us utterly bewildered or just reaching for the remote.

The 'Sex and the City' Sequel

How to start with this divisive spin-off? Burdened with dreadful writing, cringe-inducing arcs (justice for Miranda!), and a paltry 71 seconds of fan-favourite Samantha, the show fought to find its footing. Briefly, as the final season began, it looked like it had at last found its groove. Then arrived an episode centered on Seema’s natural deodorant. Little surprise the showrunner declared this would be the last series. It ended on a low point; the lingering shot of Miranda’s loo flooded with poo was simply too symbolic. Yet, viewers undeniably found joy picking apart every single “what on earth?” moment. And as Carrie – once again single – twirled around her palatial townhouse to Barry White, who couldn't let out a little sob?

The Kim Kardashian Drama

‘Can Kim Kardashian act? The answer is a resounding no.’

But that was practically the smallest of this show's issues. The recipient of a exceedingly uncommon zero star review, it was hard to know where to start enumerating the problems. The hilariously wooden dialogue? The mind-numbing glorification of affluence and consumption? The seemingly deliberate parade of tropes? Performances so poor they felt borderline spiteful? Suffice it to say “all of the above” and forget about this show again. Except, a new season has been commissioned, so we’re probably going to have to.

The Charlie Sheen Documentary

Given the legal troubles, domestic violence allegations and parental failures, it’s reasonable to say Charlie Sheen has been a bad boy. Not you’d truly have known it from this multi-part documentary which smirked its way at Sheen’s various bouts of reckless excess while failing to tell us anything we weren't already aware of. Rather, it felt as if this volatile personality was being indulged, so any pity this show might induce should be reserved for the people who have had to endure proximity with this charming but flippant egotist.

The Iris Affair

Naturally we understood it was ridiculous from the outset: a drama about a supercomputer known as Charlie Big Potatoes that could either save the world – or destroy all of humanity. We persevered out of sheer admiration for its stars … but by the end, it felt like even they had stopped bothering. One scarcely cared when his character died, and the other ended up hacking Charlie with an axe … in painfully slow-motion. Talk about giving up the ghost.

The Gangster Drama

Shady characters convening in empty boxing gyms? A certain band's Firestarter jackhammering away in club scenes? The late 90s called and wants its gangland drama back.

In truth, that is harsh on the gangland dramas of the late 90s. Many look a bit dated now, but at least they didn’t endure the embarrassment of having to accommodate unconvincing accents. But there were plenty of other issues. Primarily that it was just profoundly boring; a conflict over narcotics territory between various cockney rogues which felt a bit basic.

With Love, Meghan

Considering the degree to which she grinds the gears of certain performatively angry commentators, it’s almost easy to admire the Duchess of Sussex’s various forays into twee lifestyle as intentional statements. But then you watch them and are forced to concede that in this case, they may have a point. It’s like watching a homeware magazine come to life; a meme for wine o’clock with ideas of grandeur; a procession of snoozing dogs, humming beehives, Hallmark sayings and forgettable crafting “tips” you’ll forget instantly. All underpinned by vast, largely unearned wealth. Ugh.

The Beckham Documentary

There are obviously fascinating things to be said about both Victoria Beckham and her struggles with vocation, self-image, self-worth. But for some reason, this three-part series opted not to explore them. Instead, the viewing was akin to reading a marketing catalogue. She clearly has good reason to resent what she describes as her “miserable cow” image. But sadly, she didn’t do herself any favours with this cagey letdown of a series.

The Inheritance

It should have been the next cultural phenomenon – except even more extravagant, with a glamorous star as a deceased benefactor and a well-known personality overseeing her inheritance. What more could you want? As players battled it out, there was plenty of betrayal and squabbling. But the rules quickly became bewildering: it’s even now too complicated to detail what exactly was happening. Even more disappointingly, we only saw glimpses of the star via prerecorded videos. The series ended up reeking of a programme that was straining desperately to live up to something far greater than it.

Too Much

How do you succeed a show that defined a generation? The pressure was immense for this glitzy romantic comedy about Jessica, a hopeful New Yorker who lands in London with a shattered romance. The star took her biggest role by the horns and was joyous to watch, reveling in Austen levels of romantic ideals. But it was all very glossy and, paradoxically, was not enough. Plus, the sheer amount of celebrity friends involved felt icky.

Mitchell & Webb Are Not Helping

Not even good enough to be ‘uneven’.

Given the smart recruitment of talented emerging comics, expectations were high. But sadly, most of it fell flat. A particular sketch was a one-note joke milked to a husk but recurring in every episode. One star seemed too ready to slip into a well-known irate mode. The behind-the-scenes sketches, in contrast, simply provoked the idea that they should probably have remained in there a while longer.

The Knox Dramatisation

This dramatisation of the story of Amanda Knox was overseen by Amanda Knox and pretty much exclusively presented the perspective of Amanda Knox. So, while there probably is an compelling drama to be made about the tragic 2007 murder, this isn’t it. The material needed to be handled sensitively. Instead, the series struggled painfully to find the right tone, lurching from oddly breezy, slightly mannered farce to ultimately, real-life horror. Complex? Perhaps. A complete mess? Absolutely.

The Maths Genius Thriller

We admire the star … but did we believe him playing the greatest maths genius in history, a man so smart he’s on the verge of a discovery that could ruin society? Nope! This globe-trotting thriller about government agencies spying on – and killing off – academics honestly got more farcical by the second. Formulaic nonsense.

The Bonnie Blue Documentary

This uncritical portrait followed the content creator renowned for sexual escapades as she undertook her biggest feat yet. What on earth would motivate her? What we craved was way more examination of her true psychology, plus those of the men in the queue. They could at least have interviewed the now-famous mum who showed up to haul her son out of the queue. What we got was disturbing shots and absolutely no interrogation of her infamy whatsoever. It's staggering to consider, the filmmaker has a young daughter too.